There is nothing more inspiring than the cultural diversity in Indonesia. Couchsurfing has helped me a lot to learn about these differences and even learn the language and culture of my ancestors. Made up of 50% Asian genes, I have been formed by predominantly Western cultures. I have always thought that I was "openminded" and that it was easy for me to blend in societies different from my own. For sure it is definitely easier for me than for many other travellers. After living in countries outside my usual boundaries, I found a huge difference between knowing a culture and to actually blend in as though it was your own. It is undoubtedly easy for me to respect a culture but quite a challenge to live it as though it is my own.
I had close contact with Couchsurfers in many countries and found that they tend to be different from the average person in their own culture. In fact you will find globalized circles in nearly every country.They have travelled, speak many languages on a native or near-native basis and even spent their formative years in a Western country. I found that expatriates or globalized locals could teach me a lot about the local culture, yet they are more likely to find a common ground for communication with me.
As to the Asian cultures compared to the west, there are a few very pronounced differences that I would like to draw attention to.I have lived in Indonesia, have some friends or relatives there. Very much aware of the differences myself, I found that local people who have not yet been exposed to other countries were not always tolerant towards our views. Most of them have only traveled the Western world as flash tourists hence their opinion is much based on prejudice along with scenes from cheap sitcoms.
Nowadays Indonesia starts to develop and open up to attitudes outside their own box. Younger people tend to raise their kids to develop their own identity, more self-confidence, more democracy and autonomy for their own decisions in life. The core values in Asian societies are more community- than individual-based as opposed to their Western counterparts.
Privacy rights
This is one of the widest gap between Asian and Western societies. People ask your age and income, don't stop their interrogation until you tell them what they want to hear. Neighbours are curious about your life without really caring for you. If they feel that they don't get enough information to spice up their daily coffee hour, they either insist on getting more to put on their cake or even fabricate some weird stories.
My heart missed a beat as I walked out of my door and heard loud conversations about the local doctor who was allegedly too old to give birth to her newborn baby. At the age of 37, she became the talk of the town. In their view, this lady must have received artificial insemination because it is impossible for such an old woman to have a natural birth. The very educated and well-traveled people may be the exception to the rule. However, I have been explicitly irritated by well-traveled people with university degrees who didn't seem to be aware of those who were not prepared to disclose enough private information.
A fairly wealthy business person with a good command of English asked me bluntly along these lines:" You certainly send your mother a check every month, right? Or maybe she sends you a monthly check, doesn't she?" I was very close to calling him names but refrained from doing so because he had a generous caring heart for other people. Nevertheless, I'm going to tell him that he made me feel like being shackled on the torture bench, mercily interrogated by the Inquisition.
One example of privacy differences:
In most Western countries, any individual has the freedom to do what they think is appropriate for themselves. The advantages: People become more creative, self-confident and responsible for their own actions. On the downside, sometimes people with less stable characters may not always be aware of moral boundaries or ethics. In Indonesia, a lot of actions and behaviour seem to be dictated by the rules of the society. One example: if people dress differently from the social norm, people on the street will follow and ridicule them. If you join a sports club and refuse to wear their uniform because you think your body only belongs to you, you will be gossiped about at best and openly insulted at worst.
Respect for the elderly
I have seen a lot of words like "respect for the elderly" in the couch description of Asian Couchsurfer's profiles. I would rather replace the word "respect" with "obedient". Travelers don't always realise that what some non-Western cultures call respect is in fact a rigid, one-sided top-down system where society simply demands unrestricted obedience towards somebody who is considered older or senior to you. It is the society who unapologetically judges a person for not strictly following social rules.Young people do not always have too many opportunities to ensure their personal growth. However, I have observed that adult authority is slowly evolving in Indonesia and parents support democracy......
I suggest any person who would like to surf the couch of a non-globalized Asian family or receive an Asian couchsurfer in their home should realise the impact of this culture on them. It is good to be aware of what some cultural regulations really mean and compare them with their own personal perception. Couchsurfing or any other hospex site is still a very insightful journey to discover one's own personal boundaries when they try to immerse in more exotic waters.
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