Come surf my couch...before it's too late

The farming area has been flattened out by bulldozers. We can still see the mountains but it will disappear in a short time........when YOU don't act.

One very special feature of my couch is its location in the middle of the beautiful farming area. Not only that you can experience it straight behind my house, but you can also observe the fresh strawberries, sugarbeet plants, potato, corn and what fields. On a clear day you will have a full view of the Hunsrück mountains just a few seconds after arriving my front door.

Look at this website and apologies in advance if there is no English translation:
http://www.stadionprotest-mainz.de
The municipal government is going to build a multipurpose sporting stadium in the middle of the most fertile farming area in GERMANY!!! Not only that many people are going to lose a nearby recreation area, but the years-long organic fields have to make way for this totally unuseful stadium. And not to speak about the noise from drunken soccer fans and endangered safety.

If you look at the photo on the website, you are not going to have the view of the mountains anymore. The photo shows the STADIUM and at the moment we can just imagine these drunken yahoos trampling our field. This project will cost the taxpayers a lot and it is hard to see whether it will bring back enough money to us!!!!

MAKE THE WORLD AROUND YOU A BETTER PLACE!!!

My opinion on vouching

Vouching on Couchsurfing has been a heated discussion in some threads. Different people seem to have different views on vouching, some are very strict, some give them away like Christmas presents and many are somewhat inbetween.If somebody asks me what the right approach to vouching would be, I will answer that this will fully depends on the voucher's intuition, observation of subtle actions and personal view.
I will then present to them my own view on vouching which they may agree or disagree with.

How do I proceed with vouching and what criteria do I need?

A person can be great and trustworthy, although the hosting/surfing/personal connection may not click perfectly.  With the help of  CS-friends, I have set up the wording for my vouching criteria:

A. I must trust them with my family, friends, property and belonging.
B. They must trust me with their family, friends, property and belonging
C. They must be respectful to other people, their property and belongings
D. They say what they mean and mean what they say


How much time do I need to vouch for people?

Generally, I will leave out every person that I just meet after a quick drink or a large gathering on neutral grounds. Probably I will size up this person whether I decide to continue our relationship or not.My idea of time is quality and not quantity. And this actually means that I definitely need some time but don't quantify in minutes and months. We could as well have spent a shorter quality time to be able to tell how far I can trust a person.

Normally I don't host people for 1 night only and therefore I always get a fair time to build up a relationship. However, I don't vouch for everybody that I hosted or surfed with. I'm very, very selective with hosts or guests and in the past I have vouched for many of my surfing/hosting experiences.

I vouch for the people from MY subjective viewpoint and give NO guarantee that this person would become best friends with everybody. The heterogenuous, multicultural and -lingual nature of CouchSurfing would not make this possible. The people I vouch for are all CS-dedicated in many ways and GENERALLY trustworthy. At the end of the year I'll give my friends list a review but don't limit it to a certain number or time. This is rather about quality time spent and the nature of the relationship.

Exceptions:
People that I work with closely may become the exception because in the past I have vouched for people I met in ambassador meetings which lasted a couple of days/hours. Sometimes we have organised meetings together so the bonding was stronger. Even when I receive very good vibes from them I will still give it time to find out more details.

Do I vouch back for the vouch I get?
I have done this in the past because I considered all my vouchers trustworthy. However, there is no guarantee that I will always do this in the future.

I have never considered vouching as an "You love me, thanks. I love you too" approach. Neither do I make a drama out of it or because I'm an ambassador. Long time marriages or friendships can turn into a malicious war, people change or show their other dark side they may not be aware of before. So I think even the most sensible people make mistakes so once in a while. Removing the friend links on CouchSurfing is the only way to remove the vouch. At least the next vouch will not add up to the vouch list.

I hope this helps people to vouch with conscience. One more tip: Click on the profile who has vouched for your future host/guest and find more information.

Thomas Hervouet

I thought it was about time to host again. Thomas Hervouet posted on the Frankfurt Couch Emergency group that he was unable to find a host after 25 requests. His message was nice and his profile sympathetic. However, I first thought I would turn down a 1-night-request because normally it didn't provide enough time to get to know each other well enough

We had a lot of mail exchange beforehand. Somehow he sounded like an interesting guest to host and I provided him with a lot of information regarding Frankfurt and Mainz. He was French and I thought this was an excellent opportunity to practise my French too. Apart from everything his profile said that he grew up in a stable family which was something I was always impressed by. Couchsurfing is an opportunity to meet awesome people and speak many languages if you know how to choose your guests.

I was busy working on that day and he needed to tour Frankfurt on his own. We made an arrangement to meet at the Shangrila Mongolian Restaurant in Frankfurt. As I entered the room a young man with a backpack and friendly blue eyes came along and greetet me. He looked a bit different from his profile photo which was not too clear at that time. However, he recognised me straight away. His eyes were friendly and his manners appealing. The food was excellent and good value for that price. Thomas was hungry and couldn't wait for the fresh prawns to cook. The staff would cook the meat you choose in front of your eyes. Thomas chose spicy food and I already thought it was too spicy for a Frenchman.

Our conversation continued to become more interesting and I learnt that he was a nuclear physician who just finished his CME in Würzburg. His English was excellent, my French rusty and I couldn't communicate on the same level as in English. So we decided to speak English. After informative conversations with the other people in the restaurant, we drove home in the rain. I had some trouble with my night vision and he was patient enough to assist and navigate me a little bit.

Visiting the Mainz Marathon
The next day was a Sunday and the Mainz marathon was on. It is a big running event in Mainz along with cultural performances and food. At first he was reluctant to visit a loud marathon but soon he changed his mind. He enjoyed the beauty and historical significance of Mainz.

Mainz was famous for its laid-back people and love for outdoor festivals. Anyway, the Mainz marathon was a unique event and everywhere there were Brazilian and German military drummers to fire the runners. We took some photo shots, visited some baroque churches and headed for Wiesbaden after spending a couple of hours sightseeing.

Wiesbaden
Thomas preferred Mainz to Wiesbaden but I thought he had not seen everything and we did not have enough time to view the Wiesbaden baroque architecture and lifestyle. I drove him through the posh Wilhelmstraße or Wilhelm Street and we could see the Park, Casino and Opera from the car. From the Taunus Str we could already see the hills and wineyards of the Neroberg. This is an important landmark with the only water-driven funiculaire. We took a walk and photo shots on top of the Neroberg. The weather was excellent and we had a clear view of Wiesbaden. After a lovely lunch it was time for him to catch the train to the airport.

Thomas was one of my best guests whose visit felt rather like meeting a good friend. When I have time I really would like to visit him in France. Up until now, he was the second guest that I initially didn't want and who turned out to be one of the best experiences ever! He invited me to surf his couch in France and one day I will do mate....

Back in Mainz again

Back in Mainz again on the 3 April. It was the nicest and warmest April I ever experienced before. I just felt as though I was in Paradise. This year the Easter Days were all one of the most beautiful and warm period. I had lovely Easter Days. On Saturday I went to bed early because I had to get up at 4.30 in the morning.

Dawn on Easter Sunday started off with the traditional Easter Bonfire at St. bernard church. I brought some rolls, homemade cake, ham, cheese and dips for our Easter Breakfast. People start to contemplate around the bonfire and the ushers distributed candles. Silently we walked into the church to start the East Night mass.

This was a silent, contemplative mass without singing and organ. It was heartfelt, as around 7.30 in the morning all the lights went on and the organ and choir played festive Easter Music. After the mass people greeted me as I just came back from Indonesia and Australia. We enjoyed our Easter Breakfast very much.

The annual Internal Medicine Congress in Wiesbaden
This took place one week after my arrival. Still jetlagging and recovering from my stae 1 Dengue Fever, I decided to register because it was free for members. St. Peter was equally friendly to us internists. We had the most beautiful weather since years. I met old and made new friends, learnt a lot about several types of travel diarrhoea along with recent research on many different medical conditions.

They gave out free coffee and food as usual, fruit juices, heaps of chocolates and plenty of presents such as computer lamps etc. I just smiled for an hour to see all those doctors behaving exactly like rickshaw drivers on an Indonesian market. Doctors are just ordinary huma beings, they push and bitch just like everybody else when it comes to free food and presents:-))) This year we were invited by the City of Wiesbaden to attend Mozart's Don Giovanni. Beautiful music like always but unfortunately I couldn't be impressed too much by the modern version.

Gatherings
I organised a picnic on the Neroberg Wiesbaden. What a memorable day and heaps of new friends! We had so many people from Mainz, Wiesbaden and Frankfurt joining! Some just indulged themselves in the sun or reading a book, some went to the natural climbing park and quite a few of us starting to play the games that Karen und Collin brought.There were other gatherings that I attended among others a lovely BBQ party at Lauren's place in Darmstadt. Martine visited us from Belgium and a few people from Darmstadt arranged a picnic in the Herrengarten. Ele from Wiesbaden invited us to her birthday BBQ and I hope we will have plenty of meetings to spread the cS spirit or whatever this may be!!

Please build more foot paths and bridges in Melati Mas

Sometimes I really wondered about Melati Mas. The private developers only catered the area of Melati Mas to the needs of the wealthy people. The pedestrians were considered less than second class citizens. Most of Melati Mas residents owned at least one car. And as usual the needs of pedestrians were being stepped on and treated as garbage. Different from other parts around Jakarta, Melati Mas had not bothered to build a side path for pedestrians. The streets were very broad and geared to cars but opportunities for pedestrians were not in their calculation scheme.

The only thing which looked like a sideway was a bumpy path of grass. Due to the fairly wide street, the amount of cars and motorcycles hitting from behind had expanded to 5 rows of reckless vehicles.It was neceesary to publish a number of blogs and daily newspaper articles until Melati Mas finally started to build the first pedestrian bridge over the Serpong Highway! Before, it was simply impossible to cross this highway and a few pedestrians lost their lives or their limbs!

Everytime when I passed the Jalan Melati Mas Raya or main road in Melati Mas I prayed Our Father at least 3 times. My heart started to throb faster from the time I turned into the main road of Melati Mas. There was a school and 2 medical practices near the police station. All these cars simply blocked the narrow grass path intended for the pedestrians.If you walked around the back of the cars, you had to walk directly on the busy street. In this case I was not sure whether a car or motorcycle would come from behind and instantly transform me into a nice serve of minced meat.

If I walked in front of the cars, I would have been hit by them and may have ended as meat curry for the nearby restaurants!!!! Most pedestrians have simply accepted this and I think they were just too used to being voiceless. Residents of Melati Mas: Please voice your opinion and demand changes. I'm already afraid that despite pavement, the cars wouldn't stop to park there. Drivers, please be more considerate towards pedestrians.

People who understand English probably have no empathy because they drive cars, those who don't drive cars probably don't speak English. Who is going to help me to translate this into Indonesian????

More culture shocks

I liked to talk to local people and visit their kampung. Later I had been told that an orang gedung(people who live in expensive houses) were not suppposed to talk to the kampungers(villagers). What the fuck!!!! I can talk to everyone I like and nobody can tell me what to do. The same thing happened as I bought some mee(Chinese noodles) from a poor street vendor who normally only sold to villagers.

As I talked to the house-cleaning staff I was told that this was not the culture over here. Only the gossipers would talk to house cleaners because they try to gain more information for their gossip actions about the neighbours. In my opinion cleaners were human beings and I could talk to them as much as I wished. So I really had a hard time to understand and let alone to adapt to it.

The rich neighbours were very nice and I could talk a lot to them about different things. Showing off money and power seems to be of greater significance in this society. Of course money is equally important in Western countries where people who do have money tend to be more careful about wasting it. But in this society I found out that they simply size you up exclusively by the money or status you have. As I tried to enter a night club at the Pacific Place, the first thing the staff looked at was my shoes. Wow....I felt sorry to disappoint them with my 3-year-old Versace shoes.

Never call house-cleaning staff "maid"
During the Dutch colonial time and even shortly after this period, house cleaning staff were called babu or maid. Nowadays you may get slapped in the face if you call them babu(maid) or djongos(male maid). The real approach is pembantu or assistant for maids but you may also call them bibi(auntie) or mbak(older sister). Societies evolve, no matter in which country.

Culture shock in small serves

The social gap between village and city
I helped my mother a lot with her new little house. At first I thought it would be difficult because business in Indonesia was complicated and unsafe. The language barrier did not make things easier. My Indonesian language and cultural skills improved very fast partly due to the work pressure. I had no choice but to push through our interests and at least I managed to get basic work done.

Our house was just on the border to the kampung or village area. Many well-to-do Indonesians were hesitant to live near the border of a kampung because the social gap between the village and city was wider than the Grand Canyon. I liked the fruit orchards in the kampung and all the kampung style houses. But there was definitely a strong agression and envy against the new houses and newcomers. I felt the presence of it every day as I walked through the area.

Newcomers and villagers in Melati Mas
Somehow I could even understand the resentment the villagers had towards the newcomers. Imagine you had lived your own lifestyle in peace and then the rich people started to intrude into your space and changed your life with force......Kampung people still burned their rubbish in their gardens which could lead to life-threatening conditions such as asthma or lung cancer. This was something I just couldn't imagine from my Western viewpoint. It had been prohibited in Jakarta city areas but this place was still considered the border to the villages.

Newcomers wanting to move into one of the new houses were waited for in front of their house. A huge group of kampungers(villagers) under leadership of their elders would devour you unless they could squeeze a hell lot of money out of the "richies". They would block the newcomers to enter their own house until they received the money to carry out the job. These village people were lazy, had no work and often could only afford 2 meals a day. For this reason it became more than incomprehensible for me why all of them possessed a mobile phone they could chat on for hours.

Getting in touch with traditional medical herbs
The jamu or medical herbal tea is a tradition which is as old as mankind in Indonesia. What ever you wish, just name it. Jamu for more sexual potence, for a nice skin, for less spots on your face, for more social charisma, even a total cure of cancer :-))) Every Indonesian would have at least one glass of jamu from a street vendor every day. I tried a few glasses but soon I had to regret it. Probably the water did not meet enough of the hygienic requirements. I contracted a fungus diarrhoea for a couple of days. Through these jamu sessions, I got to know a lot of different local people and their lifestyles.


The importance of age and ethnic identity
The way people adressed each other based on ethnic identity and age alienated me even more. My mother was quite upset as people called her Oma(grandmother) and I wasn't too happy as some youngsters called me Tante or auntie. People address to you based on your perceived ethnic identity. Something I found absolutely weird!!!!!

If they called you Tjie or encim they perceived you as Chinese. I thought what would happen when some Muslim Malay people with Chinese features were called Tjie, encik or encim. Well, they told me that this had happened on several occasions and non-Chinese people were upset about it. The official term was Ibu which meant Ms or sometimes mbak(Miss) when the person was young. If you say Ibu you can't go wrong because this is standard regardless of age and ethnic identity. People also seem to act strange if you are not married although in Jakarta city people start to change.....

I can never familiarise myself with this attitude and unable to understand why ethnicity and age is so important in Asian societies. But Couchsurfing will apparently teach you to be respectful and tolerant of people with values and beliefs other than yourself. It really provides close-corner learning of other lifestyles.